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Sunday, December 17, 2017

- alicia: Coffee with Mellow

- part I: Uncounscious Moods

He was there: 6:50pm, seating on the usual chair, in the center of the room, below the main window, in the deck. A great view to the lake where they used to spend hours and hours talking about life and its discrepancies.
- Perhaps that is the reason why she wants to leave me so badly - he wondered within a singular pain... - because of these conversations...
- What? So do you know the reason why I want to leave you, Gus?
He was fucking surprised, she was already there. For the first time, she did not arrive late:
- ... for the first time in our lives, you did not arrive late! I do not know what it suppose to mean, you know... is it a good or a bad sign, Alicia?
He chuckled, his chicks became red as hell. He even looked down to dissemble his face, but Alicia insisted once more:
- Come on, Gus. It is better you tell me now, otherwise, you know, I will keep provoking you until you spit it out!
- Ok, ok... I will tell you! I... - he breathed hard, shivered a little bit and cough two or three times... because in his guts, well... he knew her answer about that already - I was wondering about the times we used to come here, you know, spending hours and hours talking about life... about the philosophy behind it all, I mean, our hypothesis about what was going on in ours and others worlds... And I remember that it doesn't matter if the conversation ended up optimistic or pessimistic, sense or senseless, we just, we just talk...
- Yeah, I remember that too... so boring right? - she stated as she was looking at the menu disinterestedly.
Actually, that was the reason why he had sex with her in the first place. And, later on, these philosophies were responsible for making him fall in love with her, because he felt as he has found his harbor.
- Well... Yep, I was wondering whether these moments were the reason why you wanted to leave me, but, you know... you just confirmed  - he confessed quite disappointed, as she seemed to be a fucking scam and he just realized right now -... and that is a tough thing to know, Alicia. Because for me, these moments were the best ones. Fuck surprises me that you did not enjoy these moments, although, someway and somewhat, I imagined that too.
- One of the reasons, actually, Gus. But not the main one! In the beginning these moments were ok, but then... Ugh, you were always talking about these hypothetical stuff that could not concretely happen... it was just  fucking boring. I am glad it is over, seriously. Yeah, I really am.
He did not say a word. Not anymore. There, he stood still, drifting away inside his thoughts. His eyes were looking through her, not at her, like aiming far beyond... Interesting that he could figure her mouth blabbing and stuff, but his vision was kind of trespassing this scene. Far beyond.
“How she can possibly say these things, it is like everything was fake, like she was never there, and she never felt a thing for real... what the fuck?! Gosh! It is so wrong, so damn wrong...”
- Is that fine for you, Gus? Hey, I am talking to you! - she interrupted his thoughts shaking his shoulders.
- What? - he abruptly said leaving the trance of his own conclusions.
- Hey, I was asking if it is fine to you collect your stuff from my home tomorrow?
- Oh - so that it is all about in the end, get the things done - Yes... yes, that is fine.
He was completely anesthetized. It was hard to tell what he was thinking about, kind of a mix of nausea, boredom and disgust.
Ok, great! - she amended fingering the table - Now I have to go. Need to treat some urgency, Gus. See you tomorrow at 7am... I mean, 7am is fine for you?
He does not even answer anything else... again he was still not there, he was looking through something, beyond that room... and kept like that for half an hour, until a waiter appeared to check him out.
- Wanna order something, sir?
- Sir? Do you wanna order something?
- What? Oh, yes... give me a black coffee, please.
- Hey, wait, wait... hun, bring me a mellow, a mellow coffee please!

[to be continued]